just tell him i said nine months
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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