how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
