My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
