I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
