Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
