We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
