my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
