i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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