someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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