i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
