in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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