hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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