tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
