I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
These tits shall not be calmed
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
