Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She bit a glass in half.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
