I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
