Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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