You're my little dorito
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
