My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
