Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
