like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
