I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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