yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
