Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize