You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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