We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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