apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
