Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
