So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
