Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
