While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
