im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize