And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
