she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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