Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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