I must be too annoying 4 u.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
