God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
