kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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