We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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