No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You made out with two different species that night
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
is it fun? or sober?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize