got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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