standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
