My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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