Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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