honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
