just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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