Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
