I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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