do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
