I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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