Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Enjoy the penises
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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