I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
