I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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