I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
