It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
