i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
3pm strippers are depressing
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
