im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize