Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I love having hate sex.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I can't turn off my feet"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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