All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
