...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
