Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
