Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
