went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
