so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
