i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
