My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
