apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
