the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
