she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
