Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize