Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
