id be glad to
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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