:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize