I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
