Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
